Keepin' it real in 2016: Resolutions, rants and stuff

Friday, 1 January 2016

Hi everyone. After a hectic year, I took a week's break from blogging with the aim to simply relax after a year of hard work. This year I was at Uni 6 days a week and whenever I had a morning off, I was either working at my part time job (reception), taking photos for my blog, or working on a cosplay. I'm a perfectionist by nature and I refused to do anything that didn't meet my standards which are ever increasing. I'm surprised I didn't have any major melt downs.

I took a week's break over the Xmas/New years period to simply do nothing. I needed it. I was semi-successful and ended up watching lots of anime, but I did end up sewing some small items for cosplay. And you know what? I haven't been able to sleep a full night since before Christmas! I am actually stressed because I am not working towards something. Night after night I lay in bed, thoughts flying through my head, feeling guilty for not blogging, not sewing, not achieving something with my day. 

I also feel angry at myself for not being to sleep. You know why? Because that means I can't work out to my fullest the next day. That's right, I added another goal to my over-piled plate of resolutions- to get abs. Despite being practically unable to function, I push myself to lift those weights every day and further increase the stress on my body. I know I can't continue like this! I can't do everything!

Which brings me to my next point. I've mentioned this before. I'm confused about my direction for this blog and my social media outlets. This blog started out as a lifestyle one, where I blogged about anything and everything, but now I only review beauty products. Do you guys even like reading and scrolling through post after post of reviews filled with photos (albeit, pretty ones) of a product on a white background? Does my opinion actually HELP you out? Is it even interesting? I'm starting to get bored of the seeing the same old things on my blog and I admit, most of the things I review, I get for free and hence am required to blog about them as part of the deal with the brand. I'm always honest though, never doubt that.

I only post pretty pictures on Instagram because I read somewhere that I should. And you know what, my top 9 photos on Instagram were all cosplay photos. Not a single selfie or beauty related photo. These photos are also the ones that generate the most comments and interaction between me and you guys which I love! Cosplay is something different and I'm passionate about it. But then what? Should I only post about cosplay? I don't want to do that either!

You know what, I have no idea where I'm going with this post. It's all over the place. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in 2016, I'm going to aim to keep it more real. I want to talk to you about the things that I love, and who cares if it's a billion things. Screw the niche! I am who I am and I just want my social media to reflect that and hope that you guys will like me anyway. I may not win the numbers game, but I honestly don't care any more.

Beauty bloggers- do you ever feel the same way? What are your goals for your online presence?
Readers- what would you like me to blog about?

*Edit- there is absolutely nothing wrong with soley being a beauty blogger either! I am just feeling very dissatisfied with it at the moment and venting my personal frustrations.

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